Hur känns denna stil:
It was an early Monday morning in September. A particularly rainy one at that. Alex was making her way from the train station to the university. She was doing her best to avoid the rapidly growing puddles covering most of the pavement. A pair of vans had not been the right shoe choice today, that was certain. Another thing was the fact that an umbrella or raincoat would've been beneficial to ensure a dry arrival at university. But it was too late to have any regrets on todays equipment. The purple haired woman would have to make do with the decisions her early morning self had made. Which were not the most practical ones on this very day. Lucky for her the walk was only 12 minutes long and she made it to the entrance of the concrete building without being soaked to the bone. She entered and steered towards the buildings only elevator. The first lecture of the day was Team Management, 4th floor, room 40.

Det viktigaste skulle jag säga är att man känner med karaktärerna och bryr sig om deras relation. Att de känns verkliga och mångfacetterade. Vilken form den storyn tar, vad handlingen är etc., är sekundärt.

Ang. exempelstycket så funkar en sådan scen som inledning, men jag kan tipsa om att läsa på om passive vs. active voice, och att ändra texten så att den är skriven med active voice så att man kommer närmre karaktären. I övrigt några språkliga fel men vet inte om du vill ha feedback om det.